By Katie Wearing
•
20 Dec, 2022
Hey everyone! It's been a few weeks (at the time of writing this) since I was in Manchester and having the time of my life there. I don't even know if anyone will get to read this post but like with anything that I do or write, it is written from the heart. This past few weeks has meant that I have been recovering due to the tiredness, pain and over exerting myself from the travelling, enjoying the show (even managed to dance like I said I would to the guys - think it was mainly to Lee I said it to) and tried to sing along despite my breathing issues, and also fitting in a lot of activity in such a short time. The build up to going to Manchester, and to the arena has been quite a long process for various reasons but I was mostly excited. Also it had been 2019 when I had my last trip to the city and so much has happened since, for both me personally and for all around the world. This past year has been extremely difficult for me due to my health. It has taken its toll on me both physically and emotionally to be honest with you. Normally I am able to bounce back, often with a smile on my face but it has been so much harder. Having CEDS (Classical Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) means that it affects me in many ways as it is a multi-systemic connective tissue disorder, one of my main features is Kyphoscoliosis. (I have two curvatures in my spine/chest) but with the CEDS, it has weaken my muscle tone and my organs are often not where they should be (it's always fun when having ultrasound scans watching the sonographer trying to locate what is what etc haha!). It has started to affecting my breathing, now I have Obstructive Sleep Apnea and other breathing issues as well. Some of the things I struggled with on a daily basis is fatigue and chronic pain but this has increased due to the newer issues. I won't even talk about my anxiety issues as that could keep me here writing this all night and would probably bore whoever does read this, but it's not surprising why I do struggle with it due to all of my various health issues. I'm also not explaining everything that I am for sympathy but to help whoever does see this gauge some understanding of where I am and why I'm writing this post. You see I'm from a small town so going to a city like Manchester is always exciting for me but it is definitely a big change. It's a big deal with the travelling and the pace of city life. Anyway, I'm digressing here. I first did a meet and greet with Blue back in 2015, and it was at a much smaller venue (which I prefer, although the accessibility access isn't always so great). I loved this M&G, the guys were so kind and caring. They made me feel special, and I appreciated that they took the time to listen to me talking about the EDS Awareness work that I work so hard at doing whilst encouraging me to keep at it with it. This happened because Simon had noticed my left hand which got me talking about it. So I was a little anxious about this M&G and if it would be just as good this time round. Maybe due to how I've been feeling a lot this year, it probably made me more anxious, I'm not sure. I didn't even know or think that they would remember me. You'll be glad to know that they did! Again, the kindness and care, was there. Duncan asked me how I was doing. In that moment, for the first time in a long time, I felt great. The sweet gestures that they showed me such as shaking my hand, holding my hand and kisses on the cheek mean a lot to me and I consider myself an affectionate person, so I appreciated this from them. It sounds weird but we always have an idea of what someone might be like and I feel like the guys are exactly like I imagined them to be like. After the initial introductions, I could feel myself relaxing around them which I think is a good reflection on the guys. They made me feel special, beautiful and important. I’m going to summarise everything now. One thing is that I am so thankful that I have been able to meet the guys twice and have such a fab time. I will for sure keep these wonderful memories for the rest of my life. Coming away from this last M&G, it has left me feeling like I’m stronger than I was previously, it’s given me a boost. I never knew how much I needed this to happen and for it to boost my morale as it had been so low this year. My only wish is that I would love to spend longer with the guys (although I’m sure many fans would probably like this!) to be able to chat about different stuff, take selfies and just relax. One thing I do the M&G for is because for those mere moments, I can forget about my daily struggles, be the person that they talk to and listen to, to feel included as many times in my life, I’ve either had people talking to the person with me than to me or exclude me in conversations and events. I’ve never felt like this with the guys. I really enjoyed the show too. I still don’t have a favourite song from the new album but ones that I do listen to a lot is either Ultraviolet or This Could Be Love. I do have an all-time favourite song though and that’s Best In Me. The harmonies are beautiful and it’s so simple. The only thing is the show finished early and would have loved it to be longer as it went so fast! Maybe the band can come to my home town and do a few shows at my local theatre (I’d be there every night showing my support!) for many reasons. Haha! In fact, Antony has been once when he was in Poster: The Musical with co-stars such as John Altman, Sam Kane etc which was fab! Okay, I didn’t plan on writing this much and thank you if you are still reading. Writing has always been my forte when it comes to expressing myself and sometimes it’s isn’t always easy to say it out loud. Since 2001, I have been a loyal fan and will continue until my end. In a way, I feel like we have grown up together although they never knew I existed until we met on the Colours Tour, and it’s been great. As creative writing is something that I have spent many years doing, I have written a poem. At first glance, it seems like just a general, cheesy poem but reading between the lines, it tells a little story about myself. It was fun writing this and hopefully you'll enjoy what I've done. You help bring out the best in me No matter where life takes me, I'll come back to you When I see you live, it's definitely paradise For those few hours, I truly feel alive You make me wanna all rise to your hits Life makes it harder for me to bounce back these days Now I struggle to breathe easy due to my health issues One thing for sure is that I'm not yet broken Home is where I spend most of my time But I"ll always be guilty of being a fan You deserve to feel like the king of the world I'll be right here waiting for your next tour Hopefully it won't be too long for the adventures But that depends on if you come back again soon There will never be no goodbyes from me One love to you all in Blue Love Katie (@DinkyKt online)