Hey everyone!

It's been a few weeks (at the time of writing this) since I was in Manchester and having the time of my life there. I don't even know if anyone will get to read this post but like with anything that I do or write, it is written from the heart. This past few weeks has meant that I have been recovering due to the tiredness, pain and over exerting myself from the travelling, enjoying the show (even managed to dance like I said I would to the guys - think it was mainly to Lee I said it to) and tried to sing along despite my breathing issues, and also fitting in a lot of activity in such a short time.

The build up to going to Manchester, and to the arena has been quite a long process for various reasons but I was mostly excited. Also it had been 2019 when I had my last trip to the city and so much has happened since, for both me personally and for all around the world. This past year has been extremely difficult for me due to my health. It has taken its toll on me both physically and emotionally to be honest with you. Normally I am able to bounce back, often with a smile on my face but it has been so much harder. Having CEDS (Classical Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) means that it affects me in many ways as it is a multi-systemic connective tissue disorder, one of my main features is Kyphoscoliosis. (I have two curvatures in my spine/chest) but with the CEDS, it has weaken my muscle tone and my organs are often not where they should be (it's always fun when having ultrasound scans watching the sonographer trying to locate what is what etc haha!). It has started to affecting my breathing, now I have Obstructive Sleep Apnea and other breathing issues as well. Some of the things I struggled with on a daily basis is fatigue and chronic pain but this has increased due to the newer issues.
I won't even talk about my anxiety issues as that could keep me here writing this all night and would probably bore whoever does read this, but it's not surprising why I do struggle with it due to all of my various health issues. I'm also not explaining everything that I am for sympathy but to help whoever does see this gauge some understanding of where I am and why I'm writing this post.

You see I'm from a small town so going to a city like Manchester is always exciting for me but it is definitely a big change. It's a big deal with the travelling and the pace of city life. Anyway, I'm digressing here. I first did a meet and greet with Blue back in 2015, and it was at a much smaller venue (which I prefer, although the accessibility access isn't always so great). I loved this M&G, the guys were so kind and caring. They made me feel special, and I appreciated that they took the time to listen to me talking about the EDS Awareness work that I work so hard at doing whilst encouraging me to keep at it with it. This happened because Simon had noticed my left hand which got me talking about it. So I was a little anxious about this M&G and if it would be just as good this time round. Maybe due to how I've been feeling a lot this year, it probably made me more anxious, I'm not sure. I didn't even know or think that they would remember me. You'll be glad to know that they did! Again, the kindness and care, was there. Duncan asked me how I was doing. In that moment, for the first time in a long time, I felt great. The sweet gestures that they showed me such as shaking my hand, holding my hand and kisses on the cheek mean a lot to me and I consider myself an affectionate person, so I appreciated this from them.
It sounds weird but we always have an idea of what someone might be like and I feel like the guys are exactly like I imagined them to be like. After the initial introductions, I could feel myself relaxing around them which I think is a good reflection on the guys. They made me feel special, beautiful and important.